E is for Enjoyable

I didn't do anything big to celebrate my birthday this year. For one thing, we're kind of broke at the moment, so there's not money to spend. I ended up using my birthday money from Aaron's parents to pay the little boys' babysitter for the week - which wasn't a lot of fun. But at least it meant I had enough money to pay her! And my parents gave me an Amazon gift card, so I can still get myself a little something.

So with my birthday off to that start on Friday, I didn't have high expectations for the day. But my friend Georgette took me out for lunch. And then when I got home, I was greeted by four very excited kids who shouted Happy Birthday! and happily presented me with gift bags. They informed me that they had taken money from their piggy banks and made a trip to the dollar store to do some birthday shopping. They were so thrilled to give me their presents. It was so sweet. They know Momma well and got me chocolate and Pepsi. :) There were also some other random items that they thought I would enjoy. A foot exfoliator from Brekken. A set of hair clips and combs from Preston. Hair elastics and a makeup brush from Haley.

Haley was also so excited to show me her other project of the day... she had baked and frosted a birthday cake for me. I was very happy to see it, as I haven't had a birthday cake in several years. At some point I decided that I refused to buy or make my own birthday cake, because it just wasn't right to have to do so. Aaron doesn't actually like cake, so it never really occurred to him to get me one. Ultimately, I was only hurting myself by not getting a cake, since I'M the one who likes cake. But it was the principle of the thing! So it was a very nice thing to have a birthday cake this year. :)

We did have a little money to go to dinner, so we went out for hamburgers and home to bed.

On Saturday Aaron did his best to let me sleep in while he got ready for work (which he actually does almost every Saturday!). Thanks to the kids deciding to get up bright and early, it wasn't entirely successful, but it was nice nonetheless.

The kids did their best to pamper me during the day. They did a "spa beauty day." This consisted of Haley using my new makeup brush to apply makeup in color combinations I've never really considered before. :) And Preston, Brekken, and Rylen brushed and styled my hair. That resulted in one of the new combs becoming hopelessly ensnarled in my hair. As I tried to get it loose, it actually snapped in half. The kids also "helped" me eat the chocolate bars they had given me as a birthday present. They offered to help me with the Pepsi as well, but I managed to keep that for myself. :)

All together, a very enjoyable birthday.

D is for Doctor

When all these problems with anxiety attacks hit me this summer, I went to see my usual doctor. Shannon is awesome. She listened to me, talked to me like a competent adult, and really seemed invested in helping me feel better. I tend to dread going to the doctor, but not with Shannon.

And then a couple of months ago I went for a follow-up with Shannon and learned that she was moving into the Urgent Care side of the clinic. She would no longer be taking appointments. I was so sad to hear that. I asked about Shawna, my second choice. Nope. Shawna is going to Urgent Care as well. That left me with Dr. Euser (who I like but he is always in high demand so it's hard to get appointment with him), Dr. Kilpatrick (jerk with rotten bedside manner who talked to me like I was a naughty 5-year-old), or Randa (who I'd never seen before). Obviously, of those choices I decided to see Randa when I needed a prescription refill (and the pharmacy said they couldn't refill without a doctor's visit).

So I went to see Randa. Randa not only wouldn't increase the dosage on my daily medication (as Shannon had indicated might be a good idea) but also told me she personally doesn't like one of the meds so wouldn't give me a refill on it - even though I have found it very helpful. So she then spent a good 20 minutes trying to talk to me about my emotional triggers and how I really just need to be reasonable when I'm having a panic attack. Because "panic" and "reasonable" just naturally go together, don't they?

When I start to get anxious, I should just think - "What's the worse thing that could happen?" and then reassure myself that the worst thing won't actually happen. And then everything should be okay. Yep. It's just that easy. I bet other people with anxiety disorders don't realize that it's this simple! We've all just been malingering, waiting for someone to explain to us that the bad things we worry about aren't going to happen! What a relief that is.

I tried to talk to her about it. I tried explaining that things are not that clear-cut. When she asked about upcoming stresses, I listed a pre-school home visit, family coming to visit, and a party I was planning. She immediately leapt to "So what's the worst thing that could happen? Your mother-in-law tells you that you are a bad housekeeper and a bad mother and criticizes everything?" (Since I hadn't told her that was an anxiety about the visit and she leapt to that conclusion, I wonder what kind of mother-in-law issues she has herself.)

I tried to explain that it's not anything like that, it's just a generalized anxiousness. I can't usually pinpoint any specific thing that triggers an attack. I'm not thinking that my mother-in-law is going to come in and criticize me or the preschool teacher is going to report me for having a dirty house or my friends aren't going to like me anymore if I have a boring party. I'm just anxious about everything and nothing all at once. But she kept on teaching me the technique of "think of the worst thing that could happen and then tell yourself it won't really happen."

Turns out the worst thing that could happen was my favorite doctors would move to Urgent Care and I would be left without real help. And I need a new doctor, because I'm not going back to Randa. I guess it's Dr. Euser for me until they add a couple of new docs to the practice (supposed to be happening soon) and I can give them a try. I miss Shannon.

C is for Campaign

As in political campaigns... emphasis on the "pain"! I am a fan of the democratic system, but I hate election season. Regardless of who you plan to vote for, I think we can probably all agree that we are tired of political TV and radio commercials, especially negative ones. Tired of political pop-up ads on the Internet. VERY tired of the endless phone calls from various candidates. Aaron and I are registered as independents, which means we get even more calls from both sides of each race.

I find the debates very interesting and I'm looking forward to them, but if I never see another political attack ad I would be thrilled.

B is for Blanket

I'm enjoying the cooler weather we're finally getting. (After a long, hot summer.) There were even a couple of days last week that were downright chilly - and I loved it. To me, cooler weather is an invitation to cuddle up with a soft blanket while reading or watching TV. It's snuggling under the quilt on the bed. It's wrapping up in my Slanket (that's a blanket with sleeves, in case you don't know) and ignoring Aaron when he teases me about it. A nice blanket makes everything so cozy.

When I was growing up I had a favorite blanket. I think my Aunt Sandy made it for my mom. It was light blue on one side and yellow on the other. It was made of a soft, slippery material that I loved to snuggle into. My siblings and I fought over that blanket. We all wanted to have it. I would hide it away in a closet so no one knew I had it, then sneak it out at night. I remember some knock-down, drag-out fights over who got to have the blanket.

When it was time for me to move away to college, I wanted to take the blanket with me. By that time it had come unstitched around all the edges - it was just the ties holding the layers of fabric and batting together. The edges and the exposed batting were a little tattered and dingy. There were various faint stains that hadn't come out in the wash. And I still loved that blanket. I tried to quietly pack it into the car with the rest of my things. But I got caught! Mom loved the blanket, too, and it was going to stay with her. :)

I went to school without the blanket; and since then I've had to make do with inferior blankets. But I will always have a soft spot for that old blue and yellow blanket. On a recent trip to my parents' house, I came across the blanket. It was a little chilly, so I happily wrapped up in my old favorite. It was just as good as I remembered.

A is for Absent

As in, I've been mostly absent from the blog lately. But I do want to improve that. While I hope you are still reading (even with my very sporadic postings lately), in a lot of ways this blog is for me. I use it to journal, vent, write down stories and events I don't want to forget, and share important things happening around here. I really like using the blog as a way to look back at the year and remember the good... and the bad... and the everyday.

I've missed blogging. I've had ideas for blog posts, but I just have a tough time actually sitting down and writing them out. And then when I do have time, I find I've forgotten the ideas!

In an attempt to get back in the blogging habit, I signed on for the A to Z blogging challenge. 26 alphabetically themed posts; just to give myself a jumping-off point. So while I have been absent a lot, I will do my best to check in here more often... at least for the next 25 posts. :)

Pants on the Ground

I really thought that the low-rider pants style was finally starting to go away. I'd heard that it wasn't even all that cool with kids anymore. But apparently there's at least a small group of people who still think this is the best way to dress... and they work at Wahoo's. I went to Wahoo's for lunch (paid for by the company - yipee!) and noticed that almost every one of the male employees was sporting the droopy pants with the boxers showing at the top. While I don't understand why they want to do that, I mostly don't care. If they want to show off an inch of boxer at the waistband, who cares?

But my attention was caught by one of the employees who was taking the drooping pants to extremes. This was not a teenager by the way... he was mid- to late-twenties. He had the requisite colorful boxers and battered jeans; and the jeans were hanging so low that the waistband of the jeans actually began at the bottom curve of his butt. I have no idea how they were staying up. It seemed to defy gravity that his pants had not yet fallen to the ground.

As I waited for my order to arrive, I had nothing to occupy my attention (my colleague had gone to the restroom) except for watching this guy and wondering how long the pants would stay up, he reached down and grabbed his waistband. Finally! I thought. He has realized that his pants are falling off and he's going to pull them up.

And he did... he pulled those pants up by almost half an inch.

 

 

Wow. That made all the difference in the world.

Sister Heaven

I used to have a wonderful visiting teacher named Kay Hemming. I adore her. She was never fazed by the perpetual state of disarray in my house, my children running wild (even when - on several occasions - they were completely unclothed), or anything else I could throw at her. When Preston was in the hospital with Swine Flu and we could not find anyone willing to watch the rest of the children (for fear of catching Swine Flu), Sister Hemming came over to our house and took care of the other kids so we could be with Preston.

The kids loved seeing her, too. She always gave big hugs when she came to visit or when we saw each other at church. And she brought cookies - not just when she came for a visiting teaching visit, but sometimes just as a random drop-in for a nice gesture. The kids often got her name wrong, but their mispronunciation was so appropriate. Instead of Sister Hemming, they always called her Sister Heaven. :)

About a year ago, Brother and Sister Hemming left on a mission. To Tahiti - rough life, eh? I love to read their blog and see their pictures as they have adventures in Tahiti. Last night I was catching up on their blog and Preston and Brekken came over to see what I was looking at. I showed them the pictures and we talked about where they were and what they were doing. The boys thought that was pretty cool, but mostly they wondered when the mission would be over. Their big concern? Sister Heaven never brings us cookies anymore!