Monday, March 30, 2009

A confession...

I hate going to church.

There, I've said it! I know it's a terrible thing to admit to, but right now it's really true. I dread Sundays so much.

It's nothing to do with the religion part of church or the people at church. Still love all of that. It's just the stress of dealing with my kids on Sunday mornings!

Since we have early church right now, I get up at 6:30 to get showered and dressed and gather all the snacks and diapers and sippies and everything else needed for the kids. Then I try and drag everyone else out of bed and get them ready to go. Brekken is usually happy to get up and go, but he's the only one. Then I'm trying to get the kids fed and dressed for church while Aaron gets himself ready. On days like yesterday it's really hard because the kids are cranky and they don't want to eat (or at least they don't want to eat anything that I'm offering) so I'm fighting with them over every bite. But I can't just give up and let them not eat because they have to get through the next 2 1/2 - 3 hours before there's a chance to eat again. Then it's time to wrestle them into church clothes, which none of them want to put on.

By the time the kids and Aaron are ready to go, we're usually running late. That stresses me out, because I have to be there in time to lead the opening hymn. So if I come in late, it's really obvious. Then I have a bit of a break because Aaron takes Haley and Preston to Primary and I just have Brekken for the first two hours. Brekken is easy to deal with. Give him a snack or a bottle and a toy and he's happy. But then it's time for Sacrament meeting, and that's when things really go downhill...

Haley & Preston immediately start whining for snacks. So I'll often give them a little snack before the meeting starts. But that's never enough. And they're whining and tired of being there. And Preston wants to run off. And by that time Brekken is tired and cranky too. And Aaron always has to help pass the Sacrament, so he's not there to help. So as the meeting starts I'm trying to get them to be quiet and sit still and stop whining and all of that is made more difficult because I'm trying to do it at a whisper to try not to further annoy everyone sitting around us. Then the bread and water come around and I'm trying to manage to help the kids get some without Brekken diving headfirst into the tray or Preston helping himself to an entire handful instead of a single piece. And of course, the person passing the trays is standing there waiting to get the tray back as I'm trying to manage all of this and taking way longer than necessary. And then Preston cries because he wants more and Haley is usually whining at me about something or other. And neither of them will be quiet so everyone in the chapel gets to hear it all.

Things get a little better once Aaron comes back to sit with us after the Sacrament, but there's still so much whining and loudness and trying to escape under the benches and fighting with each other and on and on... I'm just so tired of it. I don't hear anything the speakers say because I'm always so busy dealing with the kids. By the end of church I'm tired and cranky right along with the kids.

I know it will get better as the kids get older, but right now that feels like a long time away!


Druciana said...

I honestly don't hear your children over mine. If you need me to take the baby for you while Aaron is passing let me know. We have been sitting kind of close to you lately.

Tera said...

I can "ditto" every thing you said. Church is so hard sometimes. Then there are times all I do is walk the halls and I wonder why I even bothered to come. But, then, we are raising our children within the walls of the church, literally! Our ward is so loud that I doubt anyone even notices your children!