Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Barefoot and Hormonal

Today's writing prompt from Mama Kat: describe an incident that upset you when you were pregnant, but now looking back makes you laugh.

When I was pregnant this 4th time around, I was teaching a church class of 4 & 5 year olds. I had a team teacher, so we would take turns. One week I would teach the lesson while she sat with the class to help them remember to behave and participate. The next week we switched roles. It worked pretty well.

Then I was gone on vacation for a week. I had arranged for a substitute while I was gone because it was my week. And so I knew when I came back, it was my team teacher's week to teach. I knew she was there. I'd seen her earlier. So when it was time to go to class, the kids and I went to our classroom and waited for her. After a few minutes, she hadn't arrived. So we did a round of bathroom visits and trips to the drinking fountain to kill a little time.

And she still wasn't there. So I opened the lesson manual and figured I would wing it for the first couple of minutes until she joined us. Then she could take over with her planned lesson. About 10 minutes into it, the door finally opened. I looked up in relief to see her there. Then I was confused when she just handed me a class roll and turned to leave.

She noticed my confusion and asked if anyone had told me that she was no longer team teaching our class. She was now the secretary for the children's primary instead.

Immediately, the tears welled up. But I don't have a lesson prepared! It was your week to teach. So I don't have a lesson!

She apologized. She was sorry no one got in touch with me - I guess no one realized I had been out of town and didn't know. I sent her on her way. After all, it's not rocket science. I can wing it for one lesson. And then I proceeded to sob all through class. Because, darn it, I was unprepared. I didn't have a lesson! I finally got myself under control by the end of class. Those poor kids, having to deal with me that day.

After class, the primary president came to see me and apologize that I hadn't been told. And I started to cry again. Because I didn't have a lesson. I didn't mean to be unprepared. I just didn't know. And so I didn't have a lesson! And I had to do it myself. And I don't feel good. And I didn't have a lesson!

I was very stuck on this point for some reason. It just struck me as the worst failing ever. My husband and the other kids joined us. He was concerned to see me standing in the hallway sobbing. The primary president tried to explain what was wrong. I tried to reassure them all that I was fine. I was just a little upset because I didn't have a lesson.

Looking back, it is very ridiculous to have been so upset. It's not like the kids cared one way or another. They would have been just as happy to color on a blank sheet of paper for the whole class. Or play Simon Says. Or go on a walk around the building. Or just keep visiting the drinking fountain across the hall. But I couldn't think of that in the midst of the hormone-induced craziness. All I could think was that I didn't have a lesson!

1 comment:

Tera said...

There have been so many times that I have let my emotions get the best of me, only to look back later and feel complete embarrassment over how emotional I got over something so silly.

You are not alone! It just means you care!

(I'm glad your posting is working now! I love comments too so I try to make sure I leave them for others as well!)