Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Saying Yes

After having a good day with my kids on Saturday, I really noticed on Sunday and Monday that things didn't go so well. I was constantly saying No! You can't do this. No, don't do that. No, no, no, no!

Then I read this blog about saying Yes. Basically, the author says that her natural reaction is always to say No to her kids. And so is mine! No, that's going to make a mess. No, that means I have to get up from the couch where I finally had a chance to sit down for two minutes. No, I don't think you can do that without my help and I don't really want to do it. No, I don't really have a good reason for saying no - I'm just used to doing it.

And I realized that my reasons for saying no are not usually because I'm worried about safety or anything like that. Instead, it's selfishly motivated to avoid more work for myself! And that's not really fair to the kids. So I have set a new goal for myself to say Yes to my kids.

Yes! You can spread your own peanut butter on that sandwich. Yes! You can push the button to start the microwave. Yes! You can wear your gymnastics uniform to Melissa's house (I actually did say yes to this one). No, you can't play in the front yard by yourselves (because I have to draw a line somewhere!).

And while I'm at it, I'm going to try harder to be nice to my kids in general. Sometimes I forget that they're just being kids, and not really being obnoxious to make me mad. Even if that is the end result. So... this week, I'm saying yes and being nice. I'll let you know how that goes...

3 comments:

Katie said...

Good luck! I think every mother faces this. It is my constant struggle as well...

Melissa said...

Yes, it's a common mom struggle. Brian and I talked just yesterday about yelling less and being more kind to the kids, but the saying "yes" thing is an interesting, valid, and thought-provoking idea. I just might try it! Thanks.

Tera said...

I agree that for me, when I say no to something my kids want to do, it is very rarely because the activity isn't safe, but more often because I don't feel like putting the time and energy into helping them. Sad to admit.