Top 3 Reasons I Am Mom of the Year

Just today, I managed to qualify for the Mom of the Year award in the MOM FAIL category. Imagine if the committee considered my accomplishments on several days in a row! But today's nomination is based on three events that went over and above the standard requirements.

1. I was late to pick up my kids from after-school club. Which is a minor accomplishment in and of itself, but add in the additional information:

• Rylen was wearing boots 3 sizes too large because I could not find his own boots (the search for said boots being the reason for the lateness) and stumbled over his feet and fell into the snow on our way to the car. 
• The kids went outside in 0 degrees trying to find my car in the parking lot until the teachers made them go back inside.
• All three kids were in tears when I arrived because they had gotten in trouble for climbing onto the huge snowbank at the edge of the parking lot to get a better view while looking for my car. 
• I then gave them all ice cream with dinner to help them feel better, thus encouraging them to eat their feelings and contributing to future emotional eating issues. 

2. Once the boys cheered up, they began singing "Wrecking Ball" (turns out they know most of the words) and proclaimed their love for Miley Cyrus. And we all know what an excellent role model she has turned out to be. It could only have been worse if they followed up by asking to get a haircut and tattoo to match Justin Bieber.

3. And finally... you know how sometimes you get a song stuck in your head? Like maybe Jimmy Fallon's song "Balls In Your Mouth?" (For the dirty-minded among you, that song is totally about warning innocent sea creatures to beware the balls of seaweed and tar/oil they might encounter in polluted ocean waters.) And you know how sometimes when a song is stuck in you head, you might start humming or even singing the song without even realizing it? And maybe you only realize it when your 5-year-old asks you: "Why would you put balls in your mouth? That's gross because they would be all dirty from playing with them." Yes, son. Yes they would.

And now my boys have stopped singing "Wrecking Ball," but only so they can sing "Balls In Your Mouth" instead.