Thursday, August 30, 2012

Unexpected Humor

The morning bus driver on my route is very nice guy. He's an older gentleman with a bit of a Southern accent and is unfailingly polite (even to some passengers who deserve less). He calls everyone sir or ma'am and is just very pleasant in general. However, he's also a little stiff and formal. He doesn't chat and joke around with passengers as many bus drivers do. Which is fine! Nothing wrong with it, but it did make this morning's humor a little surprising. He must have been in a really good mood today. :)

Just after we'd started the route we were stopped at a red light. I was shifting my backpack to a better position on my lab and accidentally caught and pulled the Stop cord, signalling that I wanted to get off the bus. "Sorry!" I exclaimed. "That was an accident."

He smiled at me, then said: "I'm sorry, ma'am, but you pulled the cord. You'll have to get off. No work for you today." He even opened the door while we were stopped at the light. Luckily he then laughed and closed the door again. I was able to stay on the bus.

A few minutes later, we saw one of the morning regulars sprinting to make it to a bus stop in time. Knowing he was coming, our driver stopped and waited for him. When the man breathlessly climbed aboard, our driver offered the completely deadpan comment: "Thank you for participating in the RTD a.m. fitness program. If you'd like to join the p.m. program as well, I can arrange to have you dropped off at the wrong stop this afternoon for a long walk home."

Okay, seeing it typed up I guess it's not quite as funny. Maybe you had to be there. But it helped me start my morning with a laugh!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Overheard at the Preschool Assessments

I took Brekken to his preschool assessment today and sat at the back of the room completing a paperwork while the teacher walked through the assessment with him. It was all I could do not to laugh out loud at some of the things I heard him say.


Teacher: Can you draw a picture of yourself?
Brekken: Okay, I will draw a picture of my sister.
Teacher: That would be great. Could you draw a picture of you and your sister together?
Brekken: Okay, I am going to draw a picture of my sister in a car!
Teacher: That will be a good picture. Can you draw yourself in the car, too?
Brekken: That's too hard! I'm just going to draw a picture of me.

Teacher: Can you draw a picture of something fun you did this summer?
Brekken: Yeah, I'm drawing scrambled eggs!
Teacher: Do you like to eat scrambled eggs?
Brekken: Actually, no. But sometimes yes. And here is a picture of a banana.
Teacher: Do you like bananas?
Brekken: Yes. They're very good mixed in scrambled eggs.
(Note: we do not actually put bananas in our scrambled eggs.)

Brekken: Hey! I want to slap you!
Teacher: Excuse me?
Brekken: You know, your hand? Like a high 5!

Teacher: Can you count for me and show me how high you can count?
Brekken: 1, 2, 3... a hundred! Banana!
                laughs at himself
                I crack me up! then proceeded to actually count

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Quick Funny from Preston

As we were driving home a few days ago, the sun briefly broke through some looming clouds and sent a few brilliant sunbeams to Earth.

Preston took one look and immediately said: "Look! There must be a new baby lion somewhere!"

Monday, August 6, 2012

Just Five Minutes

It goes without saying that as mothers, we love our children and (generally) enjoy spending time with them.

But I think it’s equally true that as mothers, there comes a time when what we REALLY want is just five minutes… by ourselves… in the bathroom.

Five minutes without someone needing a drink, a snack, a hug, a bandaid. Five minutes without hearing: “Preston hit me!” “Rylen bit me!” “Brekken won’t share!” “Haley is singing that song again!” (For the record, that song is currently “Call Me Maybe.”)

Since I have a job outside the house as well, you’d think I could get my five minutes of peace there. But I work in an office with 40-some people on my floor… the vast majority are women. And there’s just one bathroom. So on any given trip to the ladies’ room, you’re likely to bump into someone. And in our office culture, it’s considered perfectly acceptable to begin or continue a business conversation while you’re in the bathroom. So the five minutes turns into: “Hey, I’m glad I caught you! Have you had a chance to look at that document? Finish that presentation? Set up that meeting?”

So when a day comes, as it did today, when I get home from work just a little bit early, it’s a blissful thing. It’s not much time, just enough for a quick trip home to drop off my work bags and take five minutes… just five minutes… to go to the bathroom by myself.