Silly Songs

I was reading a post from a blogger I read (Binkies and Briefcases) and she mentioned a silly song she sings to her kids about diaper changes.

I sing a lot of silly songs to the kids. Most of them I just make up on the spot and forget about just as quickly, but I do have a couple of standards that I have been singing during diaper changes for many years now...

There's Super Pooper (sung to the tune of Super Trouper, by ABBA)...

Super pooper, I don't want to change you.
Wow this smells so bad.
Why don't you find your dad?
Can't wait 'til you're potty trained!




And then there's the I Dreamed a Dream song from Les Miserables...

I dreamed a dream in time gone by,
When hopes were high and life worth living.
I dreamed the diapers would stay dry...
I dreamed they never needed changing...
 
But the baby poops at night.
In the morning... afternoon-time.
And it tears my hopes apart.
For the diaper must be cha-a-a-a-anged!



Finally, for those times that the child decides he does not WANT to be changed and goes Running Away (sung to the tune of Rawhide theme song)...

Running, running, running

Why do you keep running?
Why must you go running - Away?
 
Don't try to get away here
You're going to have to stay here
Soon you'll be nice and clean and dry
 
I've got the diaper sitting here
There's wipes and ointment waiting here
They're ready to clean up your little hide
 
Over here, over there,
run away, come over here,
grab him quick, run away,
Stop that!
 
Over here, over there,
run away, come over here,
grab him quick, run away,
Stop that!
 
It's diaper time, RIGHT NOW!

My Brain Hurts

Holy cats! (I told you I was going to try to use that phrase more often.) I just used my lunch hour to complete a job application for a job that sounds pretty interesting. But I tell you, after what I just went through, I'd better at least get an interview. I deserve that much just for making it through the application process.

To begin with, I despise applications that ask you to upload your resume and then proceed to have you enter everything that is in your resume into their online form. It takes FOREVER. And it's all right there in the resume that you already asked me to upload. But finally, I had that all entered and hit Submit... only to receive an error message. I had to reload the page. And then I had to enter everything all over again.

I hit Submit again and this time it went through successfully! But wait, what is this? Another step to the application process? The site informed me that I needed to answer some assessment questions and anyone who didn't take the assessment would not be considered for the position. I assumed it would be a few questions about your attitudes about this and that... some sort of personality test, basically, designed to see if you would fit into the corporate culture.

As it turns out, it was a test. A long test. It did indeed include a section with the personality test questions. Those are always annoying... they want you to provide black and white answers to situations that have many shades of gray (at least 50 ;) ). And then came the vocabulary test. No problems there. I can rock a vocabulary test. It was long, but kind of fun because I knew all the answers. Even when the next section was full of A is to B as C is to D questions, it wasn't bad. After all, I took the GRE a few (many) years ago and it was full of questions like that. I scored in the 99th percentile back then, surely I can still do this. (The high score on the GRE was mostly gratifying because I took it at the same time as someone else I knew and didn't especially like because he was always trying to show me up at everything. I finished in 30 minutes and left. Then when scores came back, this person - who had spent much longer working on the test - was bragging about his score somewhere in the 80s. It was awesome to be able to share my score and see the look on his face.) As it turns out, it wasn't quite as easy as I found the GRE - probably because it's been a few (many) years since then. But still, not TOO bad.

And then came the last two sections. Math. So much math. Algebra. Patterns and sequences. Fractions. STORY PROBLEMS! Seriously, what are they trying to do to me here? I have never been a huge fan of math, but I did ok with it until I reached trigonometry and calculus. I hated them so much that they forever ruined my relationship with math. And I never did like story problems. All year long Haley brought home pages of story problems every week and I had to grit my teeth and deal with them. (And let me tell you, it's humbling when you really have to stop and think to figure out a 3rd grade math problem.) 6 pages - 20 questions per page - of math problems. I'm not a math whiz, I'm a writer. And I'm applying for a writing position. Why would you torture me with math? In the end, I think I did ok. I came up with an answer - hopefully the right answer - for all but one question. I had to give up and flat out guess on the 3rd to last question.

That was just painful. I'm so glad lunch hour is over so I can go back to my regular - no math required! - work.

Isn't That Pinteresting: Applesauce Muffins

Now that school is out, we actually have to feed the kids breakfast again. During the school year, they had breakfast at school every day, which was really nice. Since summer started, we have gone through pretty much every breakfast item in the house. So since I was working from home today, I took a 15 minute break to whip up a batch of muffins for the kids to eat for breakfast over the next few mornings.

I had a Pinterest recipe for applesauce muffins that I wanted to try - mostly because I had applesauce on hand.


http://spoonful.com/recipes/easy-applesauce-muffins

It was so easy that it took me less than 15 minutes to make the batter, spoon it into the muffin cups, and pop the muffins in the oven. The wonderful smell of these muffins baking made my whole house smell good. 20 minutes later, they were perfect.

They even seem a little healthy, since they use applesauce as a sweetener - along with some brown sugar. Of course, I counteracted that by dipping the muffins into a powdered sugar glaze. :)

• 3 tablespoons butter; melted
• 1 cup confectioners’ sugar; sifted
• 3/4 teaspoon vanilla
• 2 tablespoons hot water

I had to taste one, of course. Just to make sure they were good enough for the kids. And then I had to taste another one... just to be sure I was right about the first one. :) They are really delicious. And this is coming from someone who does not like to actually eat applesauce.

The only change I would make next time is to be sure I spray the inside of the muffin liners with a little cooking spray. The liners stuck to the muffins pretty badly. But that's a very minor problem!

This is definitely a successful Pin. Really, I'll be lucky if there are enough of these left to use for breakfasts... I have a feeling they'll disappear pretty quick once the kids get home!

The Suspense is Killing Me

I'm waiting for an email, or maybe a phone call, or maybe an old-fashioned snail mail. I don't know what form the news will come in. And I don't really know when to expect it.

I'm waiting for news about a new job. I really liked everything I learned about the job during the interviewing process. I like the duties, the hours, the location... I REALLY like the location, which would be an office in my own house. I like the fact that they describe the pace as "relaxed" and the atmosphere as "laid back." Given that words describing my current job include things like frenetic, drama, and stress, that sounds quite nice.

I'm not quite as thrilled about the travel. 6-10 weeks a year. Mostly to L.A., but some other locations too. I like visiting other places and I actually love staying in hotels, but I don't enjoy flying. And I'd feel guilty about leaving Aaron and the kids. And of course, there's the fact that what they hoped to pay for this position and what I hoped to be paid for this position are about $15,000 apart. I can't afford to stretch my budget down, so I have to hope they will stretch their budget up.

But everything else about the job is so good. This job is basically the same position as the promotion I was vying for at my current job. It's a shame I had to look for it at another company. I had really planned on staying at this place for the long term. But between being downgraded to hourly, being classified as support staff instead of professional staff, and then being passed over for the promotion, my heart just isn't in it here anymore.

So instead, I'm hoping and praying that I can get this new job and move on. I know the grass is always greener and I'm sure to discover new frustrations in working with veterinarians instead of nurses, but I sure hope I can give it a try.

I heard from the interviewer on Tuesday and I was still in the running at that point. He told me they hoped to make a decision by Thursday. So here it is Thursday... and no word yet. I have been checking email constantly, hoping for word. Hoping for the right word. Cross your fingers for me that I'll hear from them tomorrow - with a job offer - for the right salary... Here's hoping!

Seat Stealer Epilogue

We got a new bus driver on the morning route about 2 weeks ago. It's taken him a little while to warm up and start joking around with us like our old bus driver did, but he's gradually loosening up. This morning, he offered an observation.

{Driver Dan (really, that's his name)} "So all of you sit in the same spot every morning. Is it like assigned seats on this bus or something?"

{Wendy} "Yep. We worked it all out years ago. This is where we sit every day. We don't like change."

{Driver Dan} "But what would happen if somebody messed it up? Say she (points at Quiet Lady, formerly known as Seat Stealer) decided to sit in your (points at me) seat one day?"


I couldn't resist. I had to say:

"Well, then I would have to call her a Seat Stealer and complain to all my Facebook friends about it every day."

Everyone laughed. Little do they know... ;)

Household Hint: Vinegar!

Now I realize that taking cleaning tips from me is like asking a supermodel for cooking lessons (as anyone who has seen the natural state of my house can attest) but I actually stumbled across a good one and thought I'd share.

For the last couple of months, my dishwasher has had a strange, musty odor. The dishes are still clean, but every time you open the dishwasher you get a waft of this unpleasant smell. I've tried cleaning the inside, just in case there was a piece of food lodged somewhere. I've tried running it empty so the dishwasher detergent could just wash the dishwasher. I even bought a pack of dishwasher cleaning tablets and use those. And still the odor remained. Bearable, but annoying.

This morning I loaded the dishwasher and realized that I was out of rinse aid. I didn't have any more to refill the dispenser, but I hate to do without it because I don't like the cloudy film that our hard water leaves without it. I remembered a tip I'd seen on one of those 100 Uses for Vinegar lists on Pinterest that said you could add distilled white vinegar to the dishwasher as a rinse aid. I was a little skeptical, since some of the vinegar uses I've tried in the past have not worked out. (My weeds are still flourishing.) But I decided to give it a try - hoping that the whole house wouldn't end up smelling like I'd been dyeing Easter eggs.

So I was thrilled to open the dishwasher at the end of the cycle and discover - no vinegar smell and no strange odor! It totally eliminated that weird smell I've been fighting for months. And the dishwasher and dishes don't smell like vinegar at all. And everything is sparkly clean. Awesome!

OMG, it's May 1st. May 1st!

I walked out the door this morning into a heavy, blowing snowstorm. As I huddled in my coat trying to protect my face from the snow while scraping enough snow off the car that I could drive, I heard the birds tweeting in the trees beside me. It was going back and forth from one bird to another as if they were having a conversation. And in my head, this was the conversation they had.

(And no, I don't know why they talk in text-speak and have such an attitude problem... don't blame me, I'm just reporting the conversation.)

"WTF, dude?!?"

"I know! I mean, OMG, it's May 1st. May 1st!"

"Right? What is up with all this snow?"

"Seriously, we migrated for this? We could have stayed down south for another month or two until spring really arrived. But no. The early bird catches the worm and all that crap. We just had to hurry back north. This sucks."

"It really does. It's supposed to be springtime for cripes sake."

(car door closes)

"Ahhh!! That scared the crap out of me! I'm out of here."

(birds fly away)